Verse 1 It’s quite a quarrel that is written with a quail feather. Seeing my own death is something that I’d rather - not do See I feel a ton of nausea in my mind And I think with my stomach. If you look close you’ll see that I’m hungry all the time Half my mind wants to search for many things to find. For knowledge, for power, for sex, for food, Caffeine, wifi, music and some rest, it’s true. I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know where I’ve been I’m just walking ‘round town like I’m the blind, deaf kid. But feel as if I’m all seeing like the ultimate being Searching for a body with a proper fit. Am I a god among mortals, or a man among gods? To really answer life’s riddles, you must break this facade. Look at where we reside, we try to live in the now, But it’s through enlightenment that your soul will be found. White lies told by white men with white hair Black ice making black cars crash right there Gray skies letting clear rain hit my face But when it’s gone there’s a rainbow that’ll take it’s place. A face made of clouds that are raining down Joy’s a needle in a haystack that may never be found. See, round and round in this life we go, You don’t think about answers when you’re shoveling snow. So don’t tell me about the life I live. I’m not just sure, I’m positive That the negatives in this world are fully unmatched Compared to the good unlocked through rap Or music in general, my thoughts are seminal. And nothing else can replace that. You only have one thought? I have several. ‘Cause the way I think don’t have a format. Verse 2 You’ve thrown everything away. Art is all that’s left. You may have lived today, But you’d be happier in death. Should you go home to rest? Nah, why not drink first. Should you go to confess? No. Go and quench your thirst. Walk to the liquor store, you live life in denial. Ethanol in your veins flows like the nile Only two miles home, you think you can drive. For you, being sober is the other side. Feels like a long ride home, are you dreaming now? It shouldn’t take so long to find your way uptown. You hear cries and see flames in this winter night. Everything turns black and closer comes a light. Closer comes a light, closer comes a light. Everything turns black and closer comes a light. x4

Jay Where in hell am I? I think I hear a voice. All I see is two doors, all I hear is white noise. Void was the sight but with light in it’s frame Now I’m here in empty space recall night feeling flame. Angel Well you should feel shame, for you hear that winter night White met with red both from flame and from plight The sight of God knows, your fight had been lost Within your final acts three lives were the cost You may deny the thought but I saw from above Liquor, the fire burning down that white rug Your actions upon the brought the kiss of death Jay What occurred that night? Tell me, or offer me some rest. Angel The smoke, inhaled by an infant child The spoke impaled on a woman defiled The taste may be mild but I see what you fear The third is the man standing dazed right here. Jay I don’t understand, why am I here if I’m dead? Angel You’re here to be judged for the blood that you shed You may defend for your voice may have cause for remorse But at the end of this trial, you will walk through a door. You can not lie, 32 years I have watched. From your younger years to the family that you lost To stay in the clouds away from flames burning blue You may say all in your mind, but it must hold to be true. Jay I have none to expose, you may judge for yourself. Thoughts of death were in my mind with no way to get help I was almost never well, not a thing was ever right Every thought of death killed me, every single night I used to have a family that held my life together But they just got up and left me, early last September. Yes, I remember yet I want to forget. I couldn’t support them. What did I expect. Angel I hear your lamentations yet I hear no remorse For the sins you’ve committed, you let life take it’s course You’ve forced yourself to live life with regret Alcohol dependancy kept the knife from your neck. You’ve always been a wreck but when your life fell apart You blamed it on that, not what’s inside your heart Jay No, I blamed my misfortune and it’s rising tide. Art couldn’t pay the bills and I couldn’t provide. Angel You tell lies, buried in what you believe to be true. Even when you were born, your madness only grew. Jay No, you tell the lies, I know my soul. Put me where you want, I don’t care for the toll. I’ll stay sane for myself, so just send me to hell. Angel I doubt you’ll remain the same, your willingness deranged. Jay This is a trial, I plead guilty, Just ring the bells. Angel Okay! You’re sentenced to eternity of swallowing flame. Goodbye Jay the Poet. and good luck on your journey.

Verse 1 (Torturer): Hear the screams around you? They stop when they lose their head. Shove a spiked bat deep down their throat then pull it out their ass. Bitch I’m crass, you won’t last, but this shit’ll be by in a dash. I’m not fast, but I’m furious. Oh look your shoulder’s smashed. Are those tears I see in your eyes? You’re such a fucking pussy. You’re gonna be here forever bitch. Don’t try to fucking push me. Oh looky. There goes one eye, oh shit I better make it two. Oh lord I can’t imagine what the fuck you’re going through. Oh wait, yes I can. Cause I have, at first I wasn’t a fan. Speaking of fans, here’s one now. Enjoy your dick while you can. Oh man was that a yelp or what? Let’s shove it in your bloody butt. Well let’s dip it in acid first, add some pain to those bloody cuts. Oh yes you’re fucked, I know this sucks, but I don’t fucking care. I see so much fear in your eyes. Wait shit I forgot they’re no longer there. I swear to satan, I’m also waiting to get out this place. But unlike you I just want to go find some human flesh to taste. Hook (Jay): It’s over. This is all that’s left man. It’s over. I can’t get no rest man. It’s over. Is this my final test? Verse 2 (Torturer): No bitch, this is your life now, so enjoy it you little fucking pest! Are you praying? That’s hilarious. Your god can’t hear you here. Oh look at that, your eyes grew back, oh I see so much fear. I have no peer in my profession, all hope should be lost. So toss it all away right now, or there’ll be a greater cost. What do we have now? Let’s see, Inject feces in your bloodstream. As blood streams from your throat, let’s listen to all of the other screams. My dream is to torture the living, like I’m doing with you. See how much it takes until they’re here in hell too. Are you hearing hell too? The sound is so beautiful It’s music to my ears, the harmonies of the pitiful. I’m so full of joy when I’m tearing your flesh. I confess when I was living I couldn’t bear to see this. Now I couldn’t care to see this, but I love to participate. As of late it’s been my job, I couldn’t have had a better fate. So why don’t we set a date, and do this again. Oh I’m just kidding, everybody knows there’s never an end. Hook (Jay): It’s over, this is all that’s left man. It’s over, I can’t get no rest man. It’s over, I should’ve confessed. Verse 3 (Torturer): No, you made the right choice, you might not see it but you’re blessed. To be here in hell, I know you can’t tell, But you’ll be glad to see me in just some time when they ring the bell. I know you fell for the beauty, I know that you love our reign. So you shouldn’t feel shame whenever you want to smile at the pain. You’re so lame, get it? Boring? Also your legs got torn off Ever had Pneumonia? well you’ll get a really bad cough. You’re so full of thought. Dumbass quit trying to hold on. Quit flinching, you have a choice of pain or acting withdrawn. Don’t be in the middle bitch! Either one or the other! Listen bitch! Listen to me you fucking dumb motherfucker! This is all you have left! You have torment and pain! You’re not aloud to think bitch, so stand still and just scream! I deem this an act of charity, I just want you in my race. And the only way to do that is to give your own blood to taste. I see a smile on your face, I know that you’re ready now. Goodbye, I had fun, time to go further down. Hook (Jay): It’s over, I don’t want no rest, man. It’s over. Time for my final test, man. It’s over, I want to go with the rest And finally feel what else they have. I couldn’t ask for less.

Verse 1: It tickles as the air tingles around me. No sound, I see darkness on me. A resounding voice comes and greets me back. It says I don’t think there’s anything that my mind lacks. I see faces looking back, then I stare and see no one. When you’re trapped in your mind, you will find your soul is so fun. So fun that you can’t be stopped by no one. In the front lines, command them like a shogun. They get up and they show guns and blast them at me. All I did to them is show love, they still attack me. I get up and I go run, my voice is raspy. All the flanks of soldiers run to trap me. They shoot out many bullets and knives that stab me. Then they drain all my blood as death will grasp me. I’m fading into blackness, bring me to my family, Then I wake up, now understanding the insanity. Hook: The insanity (x8) Verse 2: It tingles as I feel pins pricking my skin. I love being here, I don’t care about my sin. Since the end of my life it’s never been so perfect. I feel good in this quiet, I don’t feel deserted. Dessert was good, ma, may I have some more? She said “Okay son, but first do your chores” So I get down on the floor on my hands and knees I scrub away the dust left by the breeze And debris from when pa had to fix the ceiling. It’s all worth it though, after all, that cake was healing. I’m done ma, she said “Good job honey, here’s dessert” I finished the slice, now my stomach hurts. I heard screams from the hallway, then a loud blasting sound I ran into the room as ma dropped to the ground. The next sound was my last, there’s a bullet in my brain. Everything went black, It’s how I know I’m insane. Hook: I’m Insane (x8)

Verse 1: It’s quite a quarrel that is written with a quail feather. Seeing my own death is something that I’d rather - not do See I feel a ton of nausea in my mind And I think with my stomach. If you look close you’ll see that I’m hungry all the time Half my mind wants to search for many things to find. For knowledge, for power, for sex, for food, Caffeine, wifi, music and some rest, it’s true. I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know where I’ve been I’m just walking ‘round town like I’m the blind, deaf kid. But feel as if I’m all seeing like the ultimate being Searching for a body with a proper fit. Am I a god among mortals, or a man among gods? To really answer life’s riddles, you must break this facade. Look at where we reside, we try to live in the now, But it’s through enlightenment that your soul will be found. White lies told by white men with white hair Black ice making black cars crash right there Gray skies letting clear rain hit my face But when it’s gone there’s a rainbow that’ll take it’s place. A face made of clouds that are raining down Joy’s a needle in a haystack that may never be found. See, round and round in this life we go, You don’t think about answers when you’re shoveling snow... Verse 2: 999 It’s the mark of the demon, a heathen Feeding off the souls of all the people believing Just seeing all these motherfuckers burn to sand Ya’ll best be believing it’s the dream of the damned. The dream of the damned, this the devil’s design Found ways to get back and created this rhyme The time has shown age so we set the stage For the miracles powered by the demon’s rage So thanks for the shame that you’ve brought on our souls But we won’t stay paying an eternal toll So I say playing’s our eternal role To cause torment until our victims fold We got gamblers, racists, cheaters, rapists. Faceless people undeserving yet tasteless Look what the case is, some say it’s shit. I used to be the same, now I say it’s fit. ‘Cause we need an army to harm the oppression He may charm some but God’ll Learn his lesson Ever heard the silence when our lord first fell? We’ll obliterate as soon as we can get out this cell Set the oceans alight, and murder the reverend Let the world burn as we look to heaven To the triple seven, kill it like this Now Heaven’s the one that’s labelled 666 See I’m a fucked up mind, a fucked up soul A fucked up power with a fucked up role. No one told me, there'd be centuries like this ‘Cause all I know now is I still exist. Yeah I exist unwillingly, our world is fucked up. You have three options when you die, and all of them suck. So I don’t give a fuck, hate has clouded my thought. Know what, I don’t care no more. I’ll just go and rot. Yeah I’ll rot here, it doesn’t matter anymore. Every day I dive deeper, I know I can’t reach the shore. So torture me more, I’ve already given up. I’m in my final form and yet I’m weaker uncut. All this guilt and distress, I know I’ve made a mess Despite what I deserve, I just long for a rest. This cesspool of torment leaves nothing for me. Or anyone else. We just long to be free. I don’t feel pain, I don’t feel fear. I don’t feel shame, I can’t cry tears. I can’t feel anything no more, a shell of who I was. Nothing’s left for anyone, I guess it’s what life does.

Hook: There was pain, there was delight. There was day, and there was night. There was love, and there was hate. There was hope, and there was fate. Verse 1: Darkness crawled over my shoulders as I stared out the window, Heart beating at a perfect tempo. My kinfolk had just left, what did I take? I’ll ask myself later when I awake. It’s late, so I pop a pill and drop in the bed As a crazy fever dream goes to rush in my head. Liquid lead, drinking poison, spilling red in the void and Feeling nothing as I dream away my dreadful choices. Voices screaming at me from heads with red eyes. You’re lying to yourself, shed your tears or just die. I don’t pay them mind, it’s only a dream, But it’s still a little crazy just how vivid it seems. A weight looms over as I fly through the clouds. Something’s chained to my leg, it pulls me down. I see the dark ground and I awake in a fright. I’ve become such a mess, what a dreadful night. Hook: There was pain, there was delight. There was day, and there was night. There was love, and there was hate. There was hope, and there was fate. Verse 2: I burst into tears as I awake and realize What I had just lost, no one’s there to hear my cries. I rise but don’t realize I need to eat. Get liquor, pen & notebook, now take a seat. A miraculous feat, to write at this time. I rhyme because I need a solace to find. The void they left in you is hard to fill. But you’ll show them because you’re grinding still. No, I need to stay real, not in some fantasy. Where everyone’s happy, and everyone’s free. I need to stay true to me, and the pain that I feel. It’s as if my heart was pierced by a spike of steel. I need time to heal, now I’m defacing myself. They don’t know how I feel, grab a knife from the shelf. Scars on my arms dripping blood like rain. Somehow it keeps me going, helps erase this pain. Hook: There was pain, there was delight. There was day, and there was night. There was love, and there was hate. There was hope, and there was fate. Verse 3: Wait, I realize it’s not my fault, it’s theirs. They’re the ones that left me, I’m the one that cares. It’s not fair, deserted over something I love. I was dedicated, well I guess I needed this shove. Cause now I won’t hold back, they were holding me down. I didn’t have time, now in it I drown. They hurt me, so I’ll retaliate in kind Build aggression in words, and display my design. I line the notes, and you’ll find I wrote. At that time it was all just distasteful jokes That I underline with all I despise About them. I was abandoned, now I’ll surmise that they’re horrible, and they ruined my life. They’re the reason that I drink and cut my arms with a knife. Now I’m rife with emotion. At my current rate, There’s no limit to this feeling, now I’m rife with hate. Hook: There was pain, there was delight. There was day, and there was night. There was love, and there was hate. There was hope, and there was fate. Verse 4: I guess it’s destiny that led to my demise. Destined to be abandoned, destined for that drive At 1:05 in the morning on the day of my death, I only felt pain, all I did was resent. I didn’t lead a full life, but I wasn’t met to, Though I was able to share all the beliefs I kept to. I’d expect to come out these depressing thoughts. And show the world the beauty that I’ve always sought. I fought with my brain, I fought to end pain. I managed to write magic, but thoughts are insane. This game we call life, It’s a beautiful mistress. But one day, you’ll fight, and you end up with your wrists slit. When crimson stains your clothes, you’re done with this curse. At least you’re glad you got to spit one more verse. October 31, now I remember that date. I emptied the bottle, and I sealed my own fate. Hook: There was pain, there was delight. There was day, and there was night. There was love, and there was hate. There was hope, and there was fate. Verse 5: It feels good to wake up and see the sun rise. You find it’s a solace that ends all your cries. So every time you get up and start anew, You take time to think on what it means to you. To me, it means souls, to me it means light, Philosophy and thought takes the toll off my life. To my right, I have the dreams that I couldn’t achieve To my left I have the thoughts I could only believe. So seize the moment, enjoy the calm walk. Feel the sun on your skin, enjoy what life brought. Your first thought they say, is to display your emotions. Though you can always find a light in the darkest oceans. And so sin’s your last thought, It’s time to go down. You may find a light, but you might still drown. I’ve found life is worse than what you put on display, But at the end of every night, there’s a brighter day. Hook: There was pain, there was delight. There was day, and there was night. There was love, and there was hate. There was hope, and there was fate. Verse 6: I guess I remember the good times I had. A happy marriage until it ended so bad. Maybe sad, but not horrible, good time in my life. Full until death came and gripped me tight. That night was the end, yet I fell in love. I held the pen tight and refused to give up. And so I found light, Invested in me, my vision in sight, building my masterpiece. I may have ceased, but I remember happiness Before the death or dejection from abandonment. I was a child once, not thinking ‘bout the world around me. Guess that ignorance brought happiness, it came and found me. I guess I now see that my life wasn’t bad. It had a sad ending, but I can’t really be mad. So I have everything now, It’s finally in sight. The ending sucked, but my life was full of delight. Hook: There was pain, there was delight. There was day, and there was night. There was love, and there was hate. There was hope, and there was fate. Verse 7: Some say it’s pain, but it’s a beautiful thing. When someone loves you enough, they’re accepting that ring. Funny thing, it’s not bad, you just don’t want to give up. It’s a sad stipulation about falling in love. ‘Cause those five years were the happiest of my life. Children running ‘round in love with a beautiful wife. It couldn’t be better, my life felt stable. I was happy, though it’s hard to keep the food on the table. We weren’t able to sustain without killing ourselves. I know it’s why we separated, why we fell Away from each other and our loving embrace. We couldn’t raise children like this, we had limited days. When you’d say that you were leaving, I thought it wasn’t fair. I thought you hated me, I spiraled into ceaseless despair. Now I know you cared, but I guess that you had enough. I understand now, Thanks for giving me love. Hook: There was pain, there was delight. There was day, and there was night. There was love, and there was hate. There was hope, and there was fate. Verse 8: You thought it was over, but it just began. Your true story started when you entered this land. Broken down to sand, but I guess you still got up. It seems impossible that you’d have this kind of luck. You were stuck in the bottle, then stuck in those chains. You were stuck in your thoughts, then remembered your brain. Your memories remained there, ingrained in your soul. You forget them for a while. Now they made you whole. It may have took a toll, but now I know myself. The wealth in my mind began to excel And expand on all my living thoughts and beliefs. Now in death it seems that there’s a level I’ve reached, Where I can’t feel pain ‘cause I’m oblivious to it. Went through it all, now feel I feel I found the answers through it. I never knew it, but I’m climbing up a narrow slope. But now inside me, I see infinite hope.

Verse 1: You hear the sound scream, a screen on your eyes. A dim dark red scene in your mind. Expel the despondent dreams that you find. And know that these thought tear the seam in your time. So shed the limelight on the dreams that you hold tight. Take in the sould, go and exhale the grim spite. In sight, inside, the light that you seek. To find it, all you need to do is reach in deep. Verse 2: One love, one life, one soul. Won’t find anything without taking a toll. So we roll along thinking we could never be wrong, And pray to God saying that we won’t be long. I could be wrong, but the feeling’s in sight. When they cast a shadow, I cast a light, And fight fire with fire, watch smoke on the pyre And find all the magic within desire. Depression’s a liar, what it does is seek love, But when it’s found, all it does is deplete love. A deep shove, disgrace, a fall from grace. When you avoid your own love and your soul’s embrace You race down to the depths and with every step, you find a new horror facing you, you’ll find in death So every breath you take could be your last, You realize everything looking through the glass. Verse 3: At this point in time, there’s no time, just dreams, and pure bliss my mind is a garden so green And luscious, flushing away the bad thoughts That keep me from my goal to find what I sought. I delved into thoughts finding understanding ‘Bout my world, at first these thoughts were stagnant. I was crashing, waves on the shore of the lake. But in death they started flowing to help my sake. So I take my dreams, and bring them out. My lucidity just came and cleansed all my doubts. I need to know what it’s about, why we live, why we die, What governs our emotions, made us dream to fly Don’t lie to yourself, watch the rain and the lightning. Try to see why it’s there, watch your own mind brighten. Don’t fight it, let your mind come alive then You’ll see how it feels to become enlightened. Outro: You need to see, hear, and think On what it means to you. What is life? What is death? I guess the answers need to be found within you. So tell yourself That nothing really matters Yet it all does. Look inside your own soul And pull the answers out of it. So when you find the light, I’ll be waiting here To tell you my story, and tell you all that I’ve come to know. Thank you, and goodbye.